BROKEN LOVE | CRYSTAL ANOKAM
4:00 am – Richard opens his eyes. He’s awake at the usual time that he normally wakes at to faithfully use the bathroom. After doing so, he returns to the bed. There he lies staring at ceiling, hoping that sleep will suddenly encompass him. No luck. He grabs his phone and searches for contact name ‘Estelle’ and begins to type a message: ‘bored. Can’t sleep. You’re always up at this time. I miss us.’ Almost pushing send, he deletes the message. Placing the phone down, his voice echoes a sigh. What happened to us? Everything seemed so genuinely perfect. Then as quickly as it started, it shattered and broke into a huge mess.
Although Estelle won’t admit it. The last time Richard hung out with her, he could feel every ounce of her yearning for him - in her voice, the way she inched her body closer to his, the way she held his fingers tighter in her grasp, and the way she placed her head on his shoulder. Even though she won’t admit it. The last time they were together, their bodies, mind and soul reconnected. The connection was beautiful. Two missing souls had at long last found their missing piece. It was as if the whole world could sense the magnificent reunion of two bounded by the cord of love. Rich felt it. And he knew damn sure that she felt it too. But there Rich was at 4 in the morning, with a wave nostalgia and sea of sorrow. He wished Estelle was right there beside him. He checked his phone once more – still no text. Sitting up, he places his hands on his head then his phone vibrates.
4:15 am: ‘Estelle’ his phone read. He open the text and it said: ‘hey Rich. I know we haven’t talked in a while. My boyfriend broke up with me. I need someone to talk to. I miss us. Btw I’m in front of your house.’ As Richard read the text a slow grin emerged onto his face. He got up put on his jeans. There was suddenly a knock on the door. He couldn’t find a clean shirt to put on so he walked downstairs without one. Glancing out the window, he could see that it was pouring heavily. As he approached the door, he could see her – her caramel skin in bundle of very drenched clothes. She had no umbrella. Opening the door, Rich stretched out his hand and grabbed hers and guided Estelle into the house. He stared right into her hazel eyes. There she was. Looking ever so beautiful and ever so elegant and ever so in front of him. He fought the urge to hug her. Rich started walking still holding her and saying nothing. It was a mutual silent conversation. He was shirtless and she was soaked. Rich guided her to the living room. Gently yet forcefully backed her up against the wall. He grabbed her shirt and unbuttoned it so I could see her flowery bra as water trickled down her stomach. Sliding his down her back, he grabbed her waist, drawing her closer to him. He feel her body melt against his body heat. Rich wanted every part of her. He wanted every part of her to feel every part of him. He wanted her to feel his pain, understand his hurt. She left him for another undeserving guy. That guy didn’t deserve her. He didn’t treat her better than he did. Rich wanted her to regret leaving him. Could she feel every inch of him that missed her? Could she taste of each of him that needed her? His lips gently melted to the touch of her skin. Sliding down towards her neck. She giggled and he could feel the vibration along her neck. She pulls his hair, drawing his attention up. As Rich looks into those eyes. Estelle sees the hurt in his. She draws away. He brings her back to him, but it’s no longer the same. He was broken and she was hurt. They just want love. What’s so hard in that?
- © CRYSTAL ANOKAM
Dreams, Dreams and More Dreams
I used to have dreams about you every night
Every waking moment my mind was always on you
You made feel so damn good
I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving you couldn’t bear a second of you not in my presence
I don’t even know what love is but I know
I loved you.
Loved you more than anything
But I couldn’t let you stay
You had my heart but I had to take it back
You didn’t feel the same
You didn’t love me the way I did
You didn’t see me the way I saw you
It couldn’t work.
I had to let you go.
What’s meant to be will be
You and me
We were nothing more than a dream.
- © CRYSTAL ANOKAM